I had a dream recently…
The dream involved me going to a restaurant and wanting to buy this bright turquoise Adirondack chair. The chair was not technically for sale; it was just part of the restaurant’s décor. This was unlike me. To see and claim something I desired and then make moves on the spot to actually get that thing. When I was speaking to the bartender about the chair, he made a remark about my clothing, which was all black.
“How long have you been in this dark phase?” he asked playfully, motioning to my outfit with a wave of his hand.
“It’s not a phase, I just like black,” I answered, feeling a little miffed and defensive.
Then I woke up.
Working with my dreams has been a cornerstone of my wild feminine soul work the past several years. After sitting down with this dream, one key theme emerged:
The bright chair. Something that could support me and also bring me joy. It also symbolized moving toward my longings.
Then the bartender. His innocent-seeming question about my clothing choices. It is interesting to note that another word for alcohol is spirit, and in dreams we are invited to make these types of metaphorical leaps. To see the world less literally.
With that in mind, here was this young, masculine presence, whose job it is to provide people with spirit, asking me how long I had been in this dark phase. He symbolized this new, emerging masculine energy within me. He was questioning what I had previously believed was a part of my identity. A solid preference. An unchanging aspect of myself. I like to wear black; that’s just who I am.
With his simple question, he introduced a whole new possibility. That maybe this wasn’t necessarily my identity or something locked in stone, but rather just a phase that I had been moving through. A phase that was coming to an end with the claiming of my desire for that bright chair to support me.
Since that dream, this theme has emerged in my life again and again. I am being shown where in my life I have grown rigid, believing that this is just the way things are – that this is just the way I am – because it’s the way it has always been. Because that is what I have grown accustomed to and feel comfortable with.
Dressing in black has always felt chic to me. But symbolically speaking, it also represents the part of me that is afraid to stand out. That blends into the night. That is autumn and the waning moon. It represents the part of me that has utilized shadow work as a place to hide, so that I never have to fully claim my light.
What is being birthed in me now is Technicolor. It is not afraid to stand out or be seen. It is not worried about shining too brightly. It is summer and the full moon.
In my waking life, this has looked like claiming my optimism, my joy, and my zest for life with as much gusto as I walked into my shadow years ago. Just like I had to confront my fear of the dark, now I am asked to confront my fear of the light. To see how I have diminished my energy and playfulness and vivacity in the name of being taken seriously. How I have believed that to be small is to be safe.
It is an ongoing exploration, another level of integration. Another rung on the spiral towards wholeness.
In the spirit of this dream, my question/invitation for you is this:
What parts of your identity have grown rigid?
What aspects of yourself do you hold onto too tightly?
Where might you be blocking your own rebirth or a new energy that wishes to emerge?
What would it feel like to soften into those areas and allow for a new possibility to arise organically?
If you are looking for support on this journey, I invite you to reach out to me regarding my Wild Woman Sessions. You can use my Contact Form or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will set up some time to chat.
Also, dreams are magical portals of awareness. If you don’t already, invite them in. Love them up. And allow them to help guide the flow of your life. It is amazing what wisdom lurks beyond what our conscious mind can see.