Control

When I was in my twenties, I used to have this recurring nightmare. I was either in the passenger or back seat of a car (i.e. I was NOT the one driving). Suddenly, traffic up ahead would be at a complete stop and the driver wouldn’t notice in time. I would yell, but it was always too late. The driver slammed on the brakes and I awoke in a cold sweat at the point of impact.

We use control as a way to protect against vulnerability, not realizing that in doing so we are rejecting life. We approach the great mystery not as something to be awed by, or to dance with, but something to categorize and label and manage. We believe that by making it known, by pinning it down, we can wrap our heads around it. That then, finally, we will be able to relax. We will have the concrete answers that we have been seeking. But there are things in life we aren’t meant to fully wrap our heads around or be able to grasp. Things that are so big and so mysterious that they are utterly beyond our comprehension. Those are the [...]