Notes from The Death and Birth Portal

Opening to Receive Earlier this year, I decided to gift myself a Qoya retreat in Costa Rica to ring in my 40s. The retreat was happening right after the new year, so it also felt like a wonderful way to invite in the energy of enlivenment that I was seeking to embody in 2023 (enlivened being my word of the year).  The theme of the retreat was Open to Receive, and that theme has continued to both unfurl and deepen throughout this year.  When I originally read the name of the retreat, I thought of receiving as the counterpoint to giving. And as I wrote in a previous letter, learning to release the culturally-approved role of giver and leaning into [...]

The Post I Never Wanted to Write

On Grief, Gratitude, Meaning & Community On the evening of Tuesday, August 15th I was notified that my book Homecoming was live and ready for purchase on Amazon. Less than four days later, in the early afternoon of Saturday, August 19th, we had to say our final goodbye to our beloved Sophie. Our companion for 14 ½ years. My soul mate and teacher.  The house feels so quiet now. There are no snorts to listen for in the morning or the sound of her nails tap dancing across the floor. No one who comes to nudge me that it’s time to step away from the computer and take a break. For the last several weeks, we would often sit outside [...]

My Mantra for My 40s 🔥

On the cusp of turning 40, and knee deep in attempting to start seeds for the first time ever, I had a dream that has turned into my mantra, an anthem of sorts, for this decade.  In the dream, I am seated at a picnic table with a group of people that I don’t know in real life. We are discussing my garden.  A middle aged man asks me, “Are you going to grow corn? You have to grow corn. What would be the point of even having a garden if you’re not going to grow corn?!” “Listen,” I said, with just enough force in my voice to let him know I meant business. “This garden is not a democracy. [...]

Rewilding Balance

I used to think of a "balanced life" like a pie, with all these different wedges that I had to somehow make into roughly the same size. Or like a scale where I was trying to find the elusive sweet spot in the middle.  Balancing time spent socializing with time spent in solitude.  Balancing time spent caring for others with time spent caring for myself.  Balancing family, work, creative pursuits, and more.  I rarely felt like I was getting it right, and to be honest, it was often more stress-inducing than stress-reducing.  This view and experience of balance felt like such a precarious thing, always teetering on the edge.  There was constantly some valuable aspect of my life that was [...]

Gift Sessions

I had a conversation with a client recently about how often we only celebrate the product, not the process. It can be so easy to put all of our emphasis on achieving an external goal and completely disregard celebrating the journey.  With that said, I would like to celebrate the journey that I have been on since first leaving my corporate job to start coaching full time eight years ago. At so many points, this journey has held surprises, twists, and turns; rarely has it looked the way that I thought it would. In fact, three years ago I went back to working a day job while continuing to grow my practice so that I wouldn’t have to bring the [...]

Inviting Complexity in a Clickbait World

  Marketing tells us that we need to be able to sum up our work and who it is for in under 30 seconds.   The work itself is best if broken down into a series of linear, actionable steps.    We are told that people want messages that are quick to grasp, easy to digest, and entertaining.    I don’t want that, nor do I want to create it, but lately, the idea has been haunting me. That I “should” be able to create a pithy, three-word phrase that sums up the work that I do so that people “get it” immediately. The fact that I had been unable to do so, despite numerous attempts and marketing classes, I […]

My 2022 Word Scares Me A Bit…

For the past several years, I have been selecting one word at the beginning of the year to act as a beacon, a north star of intention as I move through the year.    This year, I have found myself a bit shy when it comes to declaring my intention, though I feel it strongly, bubbling forth from the depths of my soul.    So simple.    So beautiful.    And somehow, so damn terrifying.    And that word is JOY.    The last several years have undoubtedly felt, and been, serious. From personally dealing with medical situations with both of my parents and then sliding into a two-year pandemic, though we have been very blessed, I feel the weight […]

Reclaiming the Lost Heroine’s Journey

  Many of us are familiar with the arc of the hero’s journey, as mapped out by Joseph Campbell and present in many of our most beloved stories and movies.    It goes something like this: The hero receives the call to new adventures, which involves separation from what is known (like his home and family). After first refusing, our hero accepts the call and begins what is known as the road of trials, where he will be slaying the external dragons to prove himself worthy. Eventually he reaches the treasure and then finally begins the long journey to bring it home (and yes, this is an oversimplified version).    When I imagine the hero’s journey, I see it as […]

What Mama Nature Teaches Us About Change

  I woke up the other day, and it was 60 degrees. I put on a light sweater. Now, I recognize in other parts of the country and world, this might signify something vastly different.    But here in Texas, where the highs have been in the mid and upper 90s for weeks (and this has been a mild summer overall) and the upper 70s at night, dipping down into the 60s is cause for celebration and busting out the boots and scarves and pumpkin-flavored everythings!   I love these in-between times. Where the season ahead begins to poke through. At first, it only whispers its name in the wind and disappears, leaving you wondering whether you ever heard it […]

It’s Okay to Celebrate How Far You’ve Come

  When was the last time you took a breath, paused, and really felt into and celebrated how far you’ve come?    Our culture has a predilection towards the BIG moments. The before and after stories. The turning point, after which nothing was the same.    We can see this in the language that we use:    “I used to think/believe/be blah blah blah, and then…I woke up.”   There it is. The turning point. The one moment in time when you went from A to B. From asleep to awake. Like a machine, you were off and now you’re on.   I am fairly certain I have used some version of this myself, and probably not that long ago. […]

It’s so easy to hate on our Good Girl

  One of the most common pitfalls on the journey of shedding our Good Girl patterns of pleasing and performance is to start hating on our Good Girl.    In my experience, I never set out to be the Good Girl. In fact, that archetype did not resonate with me at all. I have found the same thing to be true for the majority of women that I work with.    I was an artist. A feminist. A non-conformist.    Good Girls are cookie cutter women who obey all the rules.    They are banal.    Downright boring. Truly, a Good Girl was probably one of the last things on earth that I wanted to be or associated myself with.   […]